Sandy's Symphony

Oh what a difference A Year can make

2011-11-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

I reviewed what I wrote last November, when the harvest was in and the snows were beginning to fly in Baker County. At that time I had no idea we would purchase a new home in Florida and spend our next winter there. Or here as it now is. This November morning was sunny with a tiny hint of cool to the air.The dogs and I walk every morning. The suns shines. The air is warmish and filled with perfumy frangrances I havent yet identified . Hibiscus is blooming. The sandhill cranes and Great white egrets hang in the neighborhood yards. I miss people and conversations but I feel WARM. And I like it. We shall see my friends, we shall see.

Mixed Blessings

2011-10-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

My husband and I are soon to start a new adventure in our life. We will winter in a different place away from our beloved immediate families and friends and our place. We are looking forward to the new sites and adventures. We are grateful for the opportunity to be able to experience all this adventure.
Meanwhile, hard health problems persist for many. The dichotomy of experiencing fun and joy while such severe suffering goes on is difficult to reconcile.
I wish there was a magic wand to cure all pain, rid the earth of great personal agony and insert joy instead.
So, for Uncle Bob...I wish thee great health and peace and blessings; For my friends dealing with surgery...now and future, I anoint thee with magic fairy dust to promote quick healing and better than ever use of limbs.For everyone with pain- physical or mental, may sun lift your sorrow and let it go away.
If it was only so easy.

Laughing Trees of Summer

2011-07-16T12:33:00.000-07:00

"That tickles" giggled the tree, as the sprinkler showered droplets of water on the grass at the base of the sturdy trunk. "It makes my toes laugh". Leaflets wiggled with joy in the summer breeze. A gold finch twittered merrily high in the branches. Frogs croaked in the shadow of the moist roots.Thats what I imagine the tree outside my kitchen window was saying this summer. It was such a happy site. I was sure the whispers were giggles.

Why are we important?

2011-02-24T11:23:00.000-08:00

Picture the universe as a dress. A single thread woven into fabric does not seem like it makes any difference. Picture a slight pull on a single thread; a significant flaw appears in the outfit.We are like the threads. Each one is important for the whole, maybe not notable unless something goes awry. But the strength of each fiber makes the whole strong and long wearing and beautiful.

DEATH

2011-02-22T10:14:00.000-08:00

This seems a bit grim for a spring day topic. But the more I consider it's fabric in life, I get that it's Ok to die. Eventually and far down the road I hope. But, it is OK. If you believe in a religion or not or care how you end up for eternity isn't really the point. It's that in this reality, as we inevitably age, we get cantankerous about new ways of doing things and look contemptuously at the young and bold. We get to like the comfortable and old and familiar. We must make way for the young and new. Our model of evolution must continue to evolve. It's Ok to let the young take over. If they make a mess and have to re-learn all the lessons....I guess that is not different if this is Rome, Greece, or New America. Our aging brains rarley take to new fangled stuff. We drag our feet at leaning new tecniques. Why is that? And maybe, at last, we don't want to know how it all turns out.I'm hoping for a front row seat though on a nearby cosmic cloud with a long lens to peer at the antics.

Lessons

2011-02-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

Why must we have to re-learn the same lessons again and again. Why can't the mind and heart absorb the deeply painful and soul stabbing life lessons the first time? I think we should have a buzzer when we react badly that makes us recall the corrected behavior pattern without having to go through all the painful stuff again. I vote for that. Put my buzzer right on my forehead . Quickly before I say somethimg really dumb . Again.

Silence

2011-01-23T08:25:00.000-08:00

I learned a good lesson about what silence means the other day. Raised an only child , I wasn't around noisy people growing up. My fellow graandchildren lived far away so few episodes of running, frolicking cousinry are in my memory. I love my neices and nephews and grand nephews and neices to pieces....but they are noisy. And in big colorful bunches the decible volume goes over my staid,sensitive limit.
The other day our kitten became lost for 20 hours. Instantly, despite the pack of two other adult cats and two other adult dogs...the house was too quiet. We slept with one eye open , and an ear tuned for a little mew. Nuttin. QUIET. No balls rolling down the halls wooden flooring at midnight. No earrings swishing off the nightstand at two a.m.. No loud sucky noises on the fuzzy blanket, near your ear at three a.m.. I can hear my friend Susan saying " And that's why I don't let the damn cats in "!! And I smile. But, the other night it was too quiet. I didn't know it could be too quiet.
And then baby kitty was found and rescued and brought home. And I was busily shouting"No! Kitty no-no" again. And my husband looked at me and said, " That's what it was, you werent yelling at the cat all the time!"

Let it Snow

2010-11-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

Snow is falling. And falling. And stacking up! Its a nice powdery white that drifts and hides all the bad spots I never got around to in fall clean-up. But dog poop shows up quite nicely. Ugh.
It is winter. And its not officically winter yet. It is interesting to see how the season shapes up. Is this the one with mountanous piles all over town for months or the big storm and then everything melts and just looks dull all the rest of the time? I like that I have more time indoors and dont feel guilty because the sun in shining and the weeds are looking me in the eyes! It's time to enjoy the fire, good books, those sewing projects I've put off too long.
The Grosbeaks landed at the seed feeder today. Zeke went running hard to the back corner and then skidded to a halt in the powder and flopped upside down for a good snow massage. Tanzy chased the quail hiding in the remnents of the rasberry rows. Christmas songs are on the radio and the neighbor put up the Christmas lights. I suppose I'll have to dig out the ornaments now! Hmm, a good stew needs to appear in the crockpot.And now that my friend gave me a real old fashoined iron fry pan, I can try out that recipes for apple tart. OOOhhh, covered in cream straight out of the oven! Love the seasons!!

Fall

2010-09-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like the first frost and sub 32 degree F night to awaken awareness of fall seasons's onset. Crisp cold air, crunchy dried leaves tumbling from trees, flower heads bending and dripping seedlings; The pumpkin vine is stretched across the garden, alas the lone pumpkin still greenish . Tomatoes and peaches warming in the kitchen window for final ripening, having been spared the shriveling chilled night.
Time to think of pies baking, quilt designs, warm fires with a good book. Or maybe a brisk walk with the dogs kicking up orange and yellow maple leaves and chasing squirrels busily hiding nuts.

Mid Year

2010-06-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

When I made my New Years Resolutions this year I never dreamed how some of the goals would be accomplished.
The exercise thing has picked up...because we adopted two dogs. Dogs need to walk. So, I'm walking. And plotting how to keep walking in the winter. I had forgotten how much I like walking.
I bought on sale a keyboard so I could learn to play the "piano". I am midway through book one. I need a teacher. Self help only goes so far for the non musical mind!
I am about half way through my stack of" books to read" and am enjoying most of them.
And the garage sale went really well.
I'm doing a little sewing although the whole back log thing is not happening.
The Orchard did get planted and I'm thrilled with the tiny apricots, peaches, pears, and apples that are presenting on the first year trees! The raspberries are looking like a fine crop is coming in also. Don't ask me whats eating the beans. I don't know and the fourth planting appears to going the way of the others. Gazads! Maybe no beans to can this year! Yikes!
And no writing is occurring. But its only the end of June. I have 6 more months.

Hope for the Future

2010-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

Everyone goes through periods of time when they think "I must change" and "Now is it, I can't go on this way". I've always believed those feelings are gut instinct telling you to move on. What I hadn't learned until now, at nearly 51, is, the change maybe just needs to be in your thinking. Shift your self perception; look through the other side of the glass; change you. Hmmm. I'm working on it!

Rain it is

2010-05-06T14:55:00.000-07:00

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

Saw this and loved it!!

Rights for all

2010-05-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

From an AAUW news brief: "Thousands gathered at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., to remember feminist and civil rights champion Dr. Dorothy Height. President Obama eulogized Dr. Height saying, "We remember her for all she did over a lifetime, behind the scenes, to broaden the movement's reach...To make us see the drive for civil rights and women's rights not as a separate struggle, but as part of a larger movement to secure the rights of all humanity, regardless of gender, regardless of race, regardless of ethnicity."
Being a member of AAUW, I am particularly fond of the fact that we not forget that in supporting women's equity rights, we not forget we should be supporting humanity in general. Men, children, immigrants...for we are not different from one another in our dreams and hopes. In our self-interest, we should strive to account for our own actions in this regard and not overlook our own prejudice.

Why Here

2010-03-22T07:45:00.000-07:00

Why here? My husband and I moved to this small Eastern Oregon town 3 1/2 years ago. It was almost a cliché. He came home from a motorcycle adventure, the Hells Canyon Motorcycle Rally, and announced, “You have to see this place”. Our friends, who had also been on the trip, were already searching for property. I had driven by on the gritty, truck rutted I-84 a few times, often late at night and usually commented how beautiful the snow capped mountain scenery appeared.

It never occurred to me we would seriously uproot and move within a few months. Particularly, as after 20 years of marriage we had just completed my dream kitchen remodel complete with real Hickory cabinets and starry night black granite countertops with copper flecks and an arty dangle light over the expansive cooking surface and wine sipping area. Especially, as my husband was known to hate moving and treated his home purchased 34 years before as his man cave and sanctuary. You could have made a Las Vegas bet with odds of a million to one, that he would never move. Really. Just ask his best friends and relatives.

Why here. To some eyes, it’ s a small town with few job prospects, no mall, big diesel trucks with unleashed dogs in the back, and dodgy looking fella’s squinting in the bright sun ,occupying sidewalk corners, staring as the outsiders BMW convertible zips past on Main street. Throw in the occasional hoarder’s contraption filled yard (a metal scrap man’s dream) and you can see why a person barely passing through with big city eyes might keep on passing.

Here is where I nearly fell out of my sandals laughing the first several times someone actually stopped so I could cross the street; no crosswalk light required. And then the teenaged kid revving his truck loudly rolled down his window and apologized, saying it kept dying on him and he was just trying to get it home. And the people passing by on a riverside walk looked me in the eye, smiled, and said Good Morning. I actually existed.

Here is where I found a coffee shop, with people interested in who was new in town, and where you had traveled and what you might want to see next. The coffee was terrific, and yes, they could make a non-fat no foam Latte. Here is where the bookstore has an amazing collection of history and mystery and new best sellers and old timer’s memoirs. The library is modern and beautiful and striving to serve every community member.

It turns out that most of the fella’s on the corner were squinting because it was sunny that day and they don’t own fancy Oakley shades, and were leery of stepping boldly out in front of the tourist who didn’t know it was only polite to let pedestrians cross the street even if you had a green light. The dog in the truck was likely either Mr. Jones well mannered farm dog, or one of the future assistance dogs being trained in town. The dress shop and the gift stores have more than enough beautiful pretties to satisfy all but a shopaholics cravings. The jewelry stores have stunning and original pieces, as well as the tasteful and affordable. The groceries are stocking locally grown and organic produce next to favorite staples. The constable may even give a newcomer a pass at the confusing cross lanes on 10th and Hughes Lane. The first time.

Here is where 20 minutes gets you to Huckleberry bushes and pristine reservoirs. Here, a heron rookery, bluebird trail, and peregrine nests are common but no less awe inspiring. If you name all the bird and wildlife you see in a day here, the “ditchsiders” are likely to think you are lying. Here, the man with the junk in his yard, is very likely to offer to find you just the right part for that old lawnmower you need.
Here is where your neighbor will come over and help you tear off the old leaky gutters on your house; before you fall off the ladder. They offer to pick up your newspaper and feed your cat when you have to leave town. No charge, although a cup of coffee would be welcome.
Here is where your kids can still ride their bikes and play in the park. Here the historic Movie theatre, named after the original owners's wife (but spelled backwards we explain), still has Sugar Babies and Whoppers. Here, an inspiring arts community allows anyone to try their hand at crafting, Or you can just admire and it’s no big deal to rub shoulders with a painter and a potter. And the 360 degree view of snow capped mountains are beautiful.

Here is not Utopia. Things happen. Bad people are still bad people. Here people do have different strong opinions. But here, it is still your right to be your own person, be respected, and the coffee to be hot and the conversation to be lively. Stop in. You might even pack up and move here.

How much are you worth?

2010-02-23T07:55:00.000-08:00

If you were ever waaaayyyy up an apple tree, where you had been carefully pruning with clippers and shears and pruning saws , and under you was a very nice aluminum garagae sale ladder with just a slight twist when you push off hard on the top step as you are trying to saw through a knothole...and it really gives you a scare as it tips away from your scrabbling feet...has anyone else wondered how long it would be before your spouse came looking for your body? Or came to rescue you at the top of the tree as you sat forlornly on an upper branch Y.Of course, the sun is shining, the quail are hooting in the field, the cat is staring at you from the neighboring Ash tree, wondering perhaps what exotic turkey that is in the apple tree.
It occured to me, it might be quite some time. After all, the Daytona 500 was on the television, honey....and really I was just about to come check on you...really honey-bunch...I would have come ...really.

The first week

2010-01-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

The first week of 2010 has flown by. I finished Kellyn's baby quilt, only 3 months late. Im cleaning out the office. I spent a few hours remembering the past while going through old scrapbooks and collections.Im trying to eat right. I just finished a great although somewhat grim book by Tim Gatreaux entitled The Clearing.Very good writing.We celebrated a birthday for Irvs 70th, a ping-pong party, a goodbye party and watched so many football games my eyes are crossed. The exercise thing is NOT going so well.
The garage constuction is proceeding despite the freezing weather. Rod and I are very excited about that. It was looking like a mud bath outside for a bit.
We are trying hard this year to bring the positive to the forefront, and leave the negative behind.

I really am...

2009-12-26T13:07:00.000-08:00

The agony of Christmas is almost past. But that's another thought. Time for the New Year and its resolutions. I was cleaning my house (well, a small corner of it) and thought of the new year.
This year, 2010, I really am going to....
1) Have that Garage sale and get rid of all the knickknacks I dont ever take out.
2) Write a chapter or two of those books spinning in my head
3) Plan that trip to France and Italy Im going to take someday
4) Read all the books in my stack
5) And increase my exercise ( this will be easy as going from zero to one minute worth counts!)
6)Finish some of the sewing/quilting projects that are piling up!
7) Plan the Orchard
8) Talk Wanda in to letting me take paino lessons on her new piano!!
9) Send out those notes to poeple I think of all the time but never quite dial up
10) Visit the beach at least twice

And you????

Sad Santa

2009-12-07T20:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry folks its been awhile. Not that I didnt want to "talk" to you but sometimes sorting it all out just takes too much energy. Anyway, today's topic is Santa.
I personally witnessed a fairly sad Santa the other day. It was hilarious.We watched as the 299th kid was plugged onto Santa's lap, by the Elf. The Elf who dangled candy canes in front of the kids nose then ripped it away and stuck the kid on Santa's lap.
They all screamed!!The kids that is. I think Santa wanted to scream too. He wasn't smiling. He wasnt Ho Ho ing. Nada. Nothing. A grim line where his smile should be, right above where the itchy white fake polyester looking beard was perched.
Our grand nephew did really well in line, dangling his legs over his Dad's shoulders and running his candy cane gooped fingers in Dad's hair. He was calm. Composed. Didn't look a bit worried like all the kids in front of him in line. Even the 8 year old looking kids were looking dubious. The one little girl, she outright howled. I admit it. I laughed like a hyena. It was funny. All those parents paid 10 bucks to have their lovely and sweet children photographed with the man of Christmas, bringer of secret stuff, man of wrapped goodies and to whom they have written their most secretest desires and mailed to the North pole for his eyes only. But in person.... The Masked Red man just didnt fit the billing. He was fat, and fake, and furry. Ick.And some lady dressed in an Elf costume kept taking candy away. Geez!

2012

2009-10-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

Lots of hype out there with Dan Brown's new book coming out. How the Mayans supposedly think 2012 is the end, etc. and all the other speculators. So, I thought to myself..what if? I suppose with a humongy asteroid or some crazy person with a nuclear weapon its possible life could change radically very fast. I figure if that happened we wouldnt live through it anyway. Or if we did, it wouldnt be for long what with the air and water contamination. So, what do I do if this is it??? Enjoy every day. Try harder to enjoy the people we are with, send love to those we cant be next to but love. Share hope and kindness.Seek to improve the human condition?? Expand the mind to reach out and send good vibrations...hmmmm. Sit back with a glass of wine and ...enjoy the sunset.

End of Summer

2009-09-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

Summer days are shortening. Evening light slips into the backyard much earlier. The sun sets noticeably farther south than a few weeks ago. It all seems sudden despite the constant subtle changes. The leaves are getting brittle and rustling but havent begun to fall. It makes me ponder the loveliness of an evening on the back deck, overlooking the field, perusing the softening crest of the nearby mountains.Blues and greys steal down the upper slopes and darken to emerald carpets and golden pastures. It's too far to see details of deer but close enough to see clumps of trees and fissures.
These gentle hours remind me of another favorite place. My friends back yard. They live on an acre or 2 of land bought many years ago from an aging couple who gardened. Its no longer a manicured area but a wild and delightful estate.My friend has tucked bulbs and woodland flowers into more traditional settings. We see ferns or a trillium peeking out between azaleas and rhododendrens, ducks and brilliant blue jays streaking through the cherry tree, squirrels chittering over the pond...a paradise found. And lazing on a chair , chatting with her, in this place, is one of my favorite things.
So sitting in my own chair of a an early fall evening overlooking natures artistry, brings to mind soft reminders of many delightful times spent looking out at dusty pink coneflowers and discussing girl things....good times.

Fresh Air

2009-09-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

We are about to embark upon another of our short camping trips. We take the new trailer, named "Puppy" and head for various lakes and camping sites. We stuff the down comforter and a bunch of food in and go. It must be leaving all the chores and cleaning at home thats adds that special flavor. The Fresh air tops the list. Star gazing. Bird spotting. The lap of water on the lakeshore. Reading. (Napping says Rod). AAaahhh!

Fresh Plums

2009-09-16T07:59:00.000-07:00

Early fall is sliding under our skin. The air has a hint of chill in the early mornings. The first of the days sun turns the hilltops rust instead of summer's sere brown or sage.The garden has that musty, dusty smell. Leaves are beginning to tinge orange and yellow. Apples dangle from low hanging branches.The cats laze a little longer in the dappled light on the back deck. Best of all, the plums are ripe. I've watched and checked each day, patiently for me, to examine the last bit of green fading to a deep purple. And yesterday, I bit into the soft aubergine flesh. My reward was a swell of soft textured sweet fruit that melted even better than M&Ms.
So, Rod will soon be having fresh plums; plum cobbler, plums with pork....well, you get the idea.Plum jam, plum syrup...and my favorite dried plums.
Last year I dried some plums on my handy food dryer that my beloved friend gave me a few years ago. Nothing like the old PRUNES famous as a dietary staple of crones. Dried plums keep that hint of fresh fall fruit all winter long. Popping a few dried plums with a cup of tea on a long winters night is a luxury and comfort not to be passed by. And for todays modern nutritionists and dieters, a healthy and calorie smart snack.
So today I will scamper up the ladder and pluck plums.

Summer Progress

2009-09-01T13:08:00.000-07:00

How's retirement? Darn right wonderful! Sorry all you work types. I'm the luckiest person on the planet.
I learned to cook a new recipe or 2 this week. I admit to feeling pleased they were both edible. Zuchinni-Tomato casserole ( for all of those with gardens) and Dahl, and Indian lentil dish. The Dahl turned out really well. I'm trying to go for interesting, healthy, low-fat reciped with less red meat on the plate.
I learned to think about food planning from my Grandmother. She was interested in her ladies group that was focused on Home education. Ive forgotten what they were called. It was where she learned about the 4 food groups, canning, and home hints.
Somewhere along the line homemaker became a dirty word. Maybe it was the women's movement issue. For some woman, never having a choice to move beyond the kitchen would have been a crushing obstacle. And I'm thankful many women continue to push for eqaul chances in the world for women.
I love doing home stuff. I admit I'm not in Martha and Julia's league, but it can be fun and satisfying. Mind you, I have no children underfoot (Rod doesn't count). Iv'e been cross- stitching, weaving, reading, gardening,canning and planning next years watering system.
Im starting to clean out cupboards, plana garage sale, and selling the car and the motorcycle.
I have a lot to do and Im grateful I have the time.

Retirement

2009-08-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning I drop off my work phone, my name tag, my nurse bag,and my key. I'm done. No more work. Im retired (again). No more nurse. I have a more profound sense of what it means to be a nurse. It has defined me and given me purpose. This career gave me self worth and value. It made me a far better person, at least at work, than I thought possible.Its scary to give up this inner confidence and value.
On the other hand, I now don't have any excuse for not exploring all the other fun things life has to offer. I get quiet time, and Yoga and exercise time, coffee time, and volunteer time. Maybe...I'll even see if I can compose a grammatical and interesting paragraph or two. I can write real letters to the grandkids and think about family birthdays before (gasp!) they occur. I can learn to cook healthy meals and clean the floors. I can relax. I can read. I can research interesting information...and learn to sew. Really sew not just a wobbly line. And I can find time to discover my man again. I think he might like that. Or not!

Blogging

2009-07-31T17:06:00.001-07:00

I spent a few minutes in instant touch with some cousins time zones and thousands of miles away last evening. It wasn't much. A few words. But so important in the ol keep in touch instant world. We are spoiled these days with instant news, instant Internet searches and auto appliances. I LOVE it at the same time bemoaning the good ol days I never knew and in reality dont really want to descend in to.
I'm comforted by the communications, like a nurses fingers on the pulse. On the other hand we loose the thrill of the mailbox delivery and the thoughtful time to write well thought out missives to our loved ones.
I see some interesting letters to the editor written in our local paper. It is only 3 days a week now, likely as Internet news has taken strong hold. But there is nothing like the written word to inflame and motivate. Its concrete! It must be true and accurate. Hmmm.
Where are we going? What path? Whose dropping the crumbs????

What a journey

2009-07-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm contemplatin again! What a wondrous journey this life makes. It seems we strive and strive to get somewhere else and we are never quite happy with here. If only I could get the weeds pulled, or...if only so&so would do this or I could buy that.
I heard from someone dear of late with a big pile of burdens. Her child is gravely and chronically ill. We talked about going on and just getting to tomorrow. I could visualize her path as being a treacherous edge slicked cliff track. There may be some high peaks but most of the time will be scrabbling up the hills.And someone else talked about wanting to spend time looking upon and smelling the flowers.
We endure, we breathe in, we gaze, we enjoy and suffer. We have the privilege of absorbing every sensation and choosing our path. What a journey...what a tale we can tell.

Thanksgiving

2009-06-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

Its Thanksgiving Day for me. I gave a lot of thanks the last few days. My friends survived their resepective motorcycle crashes with minor damage. And I am beyond grateful.
There are people in our lives that floats through, barely causing a ripple...and then there are those who just snatch your heart right from your chest . And for those split seconds when you think they might be over a cliff or in a river or irreparably damaged...your heart stops and life changes forever. You dont get to take their prescence on earth for granted ever again. And I dont. I love every silly conversation and hug I will get. I just hope when I spy their sparkling eyes I dont break any ribs hugging too tight.

Rain

2009-06-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

Water of life and all that. Nice for the garden but this unusual amount of rain for our area is making me feel like building an arc!!! Haven't been able to mow so I'm now growing giant weeds and grasses. Haven't been able to treat the morning glory in the lawn. The radishes are huge. I finally pulled most of them because I don't even eat the darn things but I always think I have a green thumb when they come up so quickly and grow well!!! The Onions seem to be enjoying themselves. Carrots are finally coming on. I lost one of the pumpkins but wait, where I left an old pumpkin to rot in the flowerbed last fall and planted daisies this spring...Lo! Pumpkins are growing!
I haven't been able to eat enough spinach and lettuce to keep the garden from bolting those greens. It sure is tasty. Not enough warm weather for the watermelon experiment. They look pathetic with one tiny leaf. The zuchini is starting to swell. Basil is good. Must make more sauce!
The tomatoes are waiting for some warmth also. Cauliflower is really beginning to grow but I havent seen any globe like structures yet. Looks like we may have a ton of rasberries this year. I'm looking forward to jam time!!! The front yard landscaping is going slowly. I have a spot that needs "Art". Haven't found the right object so far. Paulette suggested an old ladder and trellis up a rose. Hmmm, maybe. Well, that's the state of things for now. Off to the Hot Springs next week. Looking forward to a good soak.

Scarlett said....

2009-06-02T10:26:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be a better day! Or something close to that. And it is. And somebody else said "this to will pass". (?too). Anyhow, how could anyone not feel better with the sun shining, the garden growing, fresh spinach on their sandwich, and a camping trip to plan!?
I guess some times you just need a day off to contemplate the bad, burnt and bummers. So you can move on. And appreciate every glorious other gift life gives us. Like good friends. And nieces. And gardens. And kitty cats that climb trees.

Title Unknown

2009-06-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

I enter a bookstore and am transported into the possibility of other worlds. I like books for this reason. I can be happily lost there. And for some time now, lost is where I have been. And not so happily.
Life, as we know it here, is a great and wonderful gift. And to relish its greatness we occasionally must know grief.
Grief is a burden, a tonnage that we each know in our own ways. No one else can lift that burden and drag it along for us. I usually choose to leave grief on its own deep shelf. But occasionally, like Pandora's box , it explodes and out it comes. It leaps before the words on the pages I'm reading, it sits on my chest when I gaze at awe inspiring views, it leaks around my eyes when I sit beside loving friends.
And like my books, I know there is an end. But getting through those heavy chapters....I'd just as soon skip that part.
Grief dissected dissolves into rage, and depression, and loneliness and rejection...all negative. I'd rather linger over the chapters that describe beauty and solace and peace.

We would like to be shown the happy title of our life story. Instead we can only create one chapter at a time. And occasionally we must examine the bleak to get to the end of the paragraph. And its like the un edited manuscript. There is no eraser so if you make a mistake...choose the wrong word...you can't take it back. For us in the here and now, the title is unknown .

What is all this? An outpouring of grief. An attempt to stuff bad ways back into the box. Why must you always have happy face on? Some days you just can't; some days the world just weighs a lot.

2009-05-04T11:47:00.001-07:00

What happens when you realize you're not an athlete and you're not smart enough to be a genius? I was reading a list of memoirs and biographies with all sorts of catchy titles and hints of glorious doings. It struck me that I wasn't an athlete, wasn't ever going to be an athlete...and usually that means turning to an intellectual pursuit. But I haven't any higher ambitions there either. No NASA career appeared, certainly no one would want me calculating their rocket fuel to the moon. Math being slow and ponderous for me. I CAN do it but gee I wouldn't choose it as a regular gig!
How do we get OK with mediocrity? Is it ever OK to just....be? It's fine to advise friends. You are great the way you are. And you mean it. But to allow yourself to be average, fine, OK...just a quiet citizen in town. The idea is preposterous. What about goals, and sainthood? Fame!
Well, no I don't want to be a movie star. I like observing. I like to hope Ive been in the right place at the right time sometime in my career to help someone through a day, or an illness. But they dont write great memoirs about us everyday folks. The happy ones who say good morning, like to make brownies and have friends to dinner to discuss nothing more important than the weather. To whom petting the cat is a vital and important job every day.
What would the one paragraph book say? Im happy and there you go!
I guess I like the idea better that just because you are a small nut in the tool box doesnt mean you are unneccessary. You are in the parts manual and just becasue its dry reading doesnt mean someone wont need that part sometime..

Catching A Cold

2009-04-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

Being ill is a nasty experience. But it has its useful qualities. You loose your appetite! Too bad that part cant last! You learn what is really a priority in life...and its not laundry and dishes. People do send you a little extra TLC. Nice! If you are lucky, people you dont like stay away!! Its a great excuse to get nothing done or lay in bed all day and read. But overall, not recommended.

Choosing a path

2009-03-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

What happens to us when we deal with adversity? The basic response hearkens back to fight or flight. Get mad or run. So what happens when you get over the mad and you don't run? Some persons advocate perseverance. Endurance.
Sounds unappetizing, kind of like striving for Sainthood. I ain't that Saintlike. My failing. I want a different path. But the question remains, how to find the road.
And what about giving up? That sounds way to silly and easy to me.
It seems like dieting. Its going to be hard for some, easier for others. Some can do it by deprivation, others can do it with strength of will. But most of us have to slog along , peering at street signs til we find a good road and turn.
Making good paths requires a little preparation I'm discovering. Examine the route and direction. Check for potholes. Line the bottom with some leveling if you can and put gravel down. Pack well the foundation. Don't forget a few forms for good edges. Need a few bulbs for color along the way. Then put your nose to the path and travel.
I wonder if I can go on roller skates??

Italy

2009-03-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

I awoke suddenly this morning, leaping up to turn off the alarm, with a huge smile on my face and immediately tried to fall back into the soft mattress and recapture my dream.
In the dream, I was at an airport waiting area, with friends and we were all spontaneously getting on this plane to Italy so they could get married. I didn't even have my passport but "It would be OK because Italy doesn't require one". And I was just so happy! I was going to have to call work and say " Sorry, going to Italy, see ya in a week. I was just giddy!!
I have no idea what that means, other than the thought of hopping on a plane to Italy sounds delicious!!
What does Italy represent? Cheese, artisan breads, flavors, olive oil, deeply warming sun,rocky coasts, dining outside overlooking the water,light flowing skirts, sipping wine....unhurried pace. I sense the food theme!!
I wonder where I'll get to wake up tomorrow?

Quotes

2009-03-14T08:10:00.001-07:00

I read a quote today attributed to Gandhi:" An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind".It instantly made me think of politics and policies and world concerns. And relationships.And families.
When we are hurt or confused by an act or a word or action, we close the door to that space, metaphorically speaking.
Our instinct is to protect ourselves, our concerns, our beliefs. Perhaps the instinct was good back in the caveman days .
What would happen if we were able to keep the door wedged open? I visualize a large,rough, moss cratered, muddy rock holding open the door. Not easy to move to the opening. Begrudgingly rolled to that place. But the door is open. The spill of enlightenment could eek through.
I'm not to happy to bring out my treasures of forgiveness, of understanding; of a smile. I'd rather be mad, or put upon, or right! But I think I'll sit upon my chair, with my cup of tea, near the light...and see what comes through.

Molly Gloss

2009-03-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I attended an writing class/discussion from Molly Gloss last night. Its phenomenal to walk away from a class inspired. Also intimidated. In a good way.Here is an author who knows about describing things. She even can describe a characters emotions without saying so by changing word choices in the surrounding scene. Hard to convey what this means without reading her examples. A completely different style than some of the recent reads Ive completed. What I find awe striking, is the absolute beauty in knowing that language can have depth and meaning. We can communicate. And that some writers do care about craft and subtlety.

Memory

2009-03-07T09:09:00.000-08:00

A famous author ( Reading Lolita in Tehran) notes she became obsessed with her parents photographs shortly after they died. She even studied them with a magnifying glass. I have also just finished reading an interesting biography. It made me think about the letters, diaries and papers we leave behind. Some in my extended family keep journals, perhaps for their descendants and maybe for self therapy. Ive never been able to keep one going for more than a few days. Maybe I loose interest in what I have to say. But in thinking about what I might end up leaving behind, I speculate, what would anyone want to know about me? I have no direct descendants. I have a lovely step daughter who will likely be much more occupied with her own children. I have extended family who will also be much more interested in their inner family works.And yet, in my family tree I have researched a woman who had no children of her own but took care of several nieces and nephews and her mother. She seems like the matriarch of her family. She left behind no known letters. I do wonder what she cared about. What she longed for. What she thought regarding her political times. She lived very near the Morman site of Navoo. Her neighborhood was the site for some atrocities. The Civil War swept through her state. Did she have time to read. Did she hate beets? Another woman's story I recently read about (Bold Spirit) survived not because of what she left behind (her children burned her memoir out of misguided anger)but because her later descendants were trying to remember her and find out about her.
I find it a touch sad too that we think we know one another. And maybe we do. Our foibles are so exposed in close contact. Bad habits , we can be kinder about with the distance of time and lost immediacy.
So, for future great grand neices et al: I hate beets, because they are purple and slimy. I love sweets because they are buttery. I like books because I can go somewhere else and gain insight. I like historical things for the same reason. I like old furniture because the wood echoes some sentiment from the tree where it once grew and the persons who might have occupied it some rainy afternoon. I dont like mechanical things as they seem so cold, although I value their function and the ease they bring to my life. Im interested in politics because of people and ideas not so much for the need to bend peoples will. I find it irritating that people cant debate earnestly without resorting to rhetoric that they really havent explored. I see great sadness in the waste of life to pursue material things, though we all like them. I toss about the idea frequently that we all are off the track, when we arent using whatever talents we may have toward the benefit of all....thought I cant figure out how we must turn to that and leave our self (ego) aside. I like mashed potatoes. I like sunflowers. I like rivers and walking on the beach. I like thinking about all my relatives growing up and becoming "someone". I like cats.

Words

2009-03-03T06:20:00.000-08:00

I apologize to any who might try to follow my thoughts in this forum. The problem lies in that I have no message. I think things in an endless stream. I contemplate and reject a zillion ideas. I find great interest in many of the happenings in the world. When I start to write coherent thoughts go out the window like a grain of sand in a sandstorm.
I now understand my ancestors who didn't leave behind a diary as they "had nothing to say". I dont believe that I have nothing to say but I question its importance, particularly in the cyber world.
Im reading a wonderful book, the biography of EB White. He wrote Charlottes Web and a few other famous childrens books, but for many years he wrote for the The New Yorker magazine. The point is he wrote in this wonderful concise language. Its the first time in a long while that Ive admired a style, the use of language in a writers message. Being under educated in the mechanics of writing, and admittedly not too interested in the technical details of proper grammer, it is this I lack. The way of the word.There are words in his biography I've never heard of. Things I have to look up. How exciting to find words with depth. Words to explore. Im also reading the biographical account of the life of Roget of Roget's Thesauras. Who knew. Personally,I think he must have had OCD. But who am I to question the outcome.
So, poor bored reader...I search for a way to bring you a coherent and interesting message.I havent found it yet.

Writing in your sleep

2009-01-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else dream in novels? After I'm done fretting about everything else in my day I set about going to sleep by imagining a plot for a book. But I always forget most of it when I wake up. I just dont wake up enough to keep one of those bedside notepads. And sometimes as Im writing in my sleep, I think sort of loudly...man that was great... they might even publish this....if only I could remember it when I wake!
I know my heroine's name last night was Bryn Allison. And the chapter starts like this....
Bryn Allsion was average. Average brown hair. Average funny. Average job. Until she stepped out the door of the coffee house on her way to work and got hit by a plane. Not your average bus. An airplane. Now that wasnt average.
Ok. So plot one the pilot has actually made this skilled and careful emergency landing avoiding everyone but Bryn. Of course he's handsome and etc etc...romance et al.
Or as she awakens on an alien planet. Turns out humans who die arent in heaven they get transported....sci fi plot.
I didnt say they were good novels! Sheez! Sometimes they are fantastic. But those usually involve murder and blood and get way to complicated and I wake myself up all scared and have to think of milkshakes or something to get back to sleep.
I keep going back to the premise you are supposed to write about what you know. Which is a whole lot a nuttin. Medical novels are passe'. Killing off your patients isnt very good PR either. And working out your family issues in public never appealed to me. So, romance/sci-fi it is.
I kind of like the heaven plot. Most of us stop at the you get to go to heaven part. What then? Hang out on clouds? Ho Hum. I suppose you could spend a good while meeting the ancesters. That would be fun for awhile. Unless they were cranky.Or none of your people made it "up there". What would you do with unlimited energy and time.Everones fine so you cant go be heroic. Heaven seems kind of hedonistic from that view. Hmmm. Too literal I guess.
Well, off to bed to dream up a new plot.

Holy Forcast Frosty!

2008-12-16T15:41:00.000-08:00

It looks like we are really going to have winter this year. Our local forcast is for snow, cold, snow, snow and some more cold snow.Brrrr. Just hope our trusty little house keeps working. At work, our Aide's pipes burst...and there is so little hope of a thaw. I cant imagine the diffficulty.
Rod and I once spent a chilly night under the sleeping bags in our old home when the power went out. The cats crawed in. But my nose was cold. What the heck did those pioneers do anyway. The dreariest book I ever read was about a pioneer woman in the Olympic Mtns during winter. All that cold and damp just came out of those pages and was deeeee pressing.
So Ive had these dreams lately. Im writing. You know, the great American Novel thing. But I cant work it through the concept. I have the idea but cant work past the beginning. I fall too deeply asleep! Rats.
Well, hope all your packages and cards are mailed ( mine arent!) but I just cant worry about it this year!

2008-12-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

What a layover in writing! Im like many who think we have nothing to say but all day every day my head is crammed with stuff and ideas and random thoughts. So guess what! My fellow one or two folks who pull stuff off the ethereal net...you get the benefit of my "stuff" today.
Christmas is a funny time especially if you're not the church type. I love all the Santa trimmings and the unparralled depth of music especially some of the high ranging triumphant religious works. I love the tree lightings and small town Christmas parades and the expectation lighting up the eyes of kids. I love the pretty wrapping paper and the food. HHmmmm, the food! I hate not being able to find just the right gift and thinking I should put more effort into it. I vaguley dislike wrapping. I can never get the bows just so. I sure do like opening though!
Why is it that I can think of 20 things I wouldnt mind opening on Christmas morning but Im danged if I can come up with even one spectacular item for my husband. He is a computer geek. A techno guy. A lover of all thats microchipped and multifunctional. None of which I understand, or can stand or want to do anything but stand on. What's wrong with on and off or up and down, I say. I digress.
What to get the love of your life who has every gadget already. Who has enough socks, and robes and CDs and tools? Mind you this is a man whose favorite jacket is this accidently shrunken red plaid farmers fake lambs wool piece. He never met a ball cap with a logo on it he didnt like. A fellow with 200 T shirts.Who after wearing slacks and tie in the office for 30 years now refuses to even wear socks. What to do??Even a lump of coal however undeserved aint original.
So Im left present challenged. Defeated by scads of ads with no hope of the coolest deal on earth...just the right gift.I wish there was a real Santa to whom I could appeal!

Enthusiasm

2008-11-15T07:33:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of what life should be about. Why we bother. How to get through the days. At first I thought of the word Inspiration. The always thought provoking Faith. But I finally settled on Enthusiasm. The original meaning took me by surprise. Something about inspired by God. There was even an ancient Syrian sect called "Enthusiasts". But what I was after was the root of making things better. We can slog or drag through our days whining along the road. Or we can use enthusiasm.
It started because I read a bulletin from a group of which I am a member. Normally, I delete the National bulletins before ever getting around to reading them like all good group members.But this time I read it. It was inspiring. There are folks out there even from my home state and local groups taking the extra step to participate. And what happens when you participate can generate enthusiasm for mundane meetings and tasks in others.
So, a glow of enthusiasm lit upon me. And I got to thinking how much energy just being enthused can bring.
Yesterday we made a little trip out of town with friends to look at some fancy motorcycles.My hubby hasn't been feeling well with his cold/flu. He has been a bit depressed in general. But by the end of the day with all of us projecting enthusiasm..he liked it!! He said thanks for making him go. And I thought, if we could start our days with projecting a bit of positive enthusiasm for our tasks....we could inspire a few people along the way. Sometimes that ripple might reach someone unexpected. Make a real difference. So different than projecting doom and gloom and negativity. Hmmmm.

Wishing

2008-10-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

I decided I would wish today. What do I wish for? I wish I had a personality that would convey calm and peace into the lives of those I know and love. Because I wish that for them. Calm, steadiness, peaceful nights.
I wish I could say to their faces instead of in a blog how much I care about my families. My father is a cynical and cool man. Its all he can do to get a shoulder hug in. But I know he loves me. I try to tell him. He doesn't like presents so its hard to give him anything that makes him smile. So, I call . We have a glass of wine together and I let him tell me his version of the earth and whats going on.
And my nieces, nephews, in laws, step-daughter. I married into this very interesting family and my husband gave me these people to know. Its been one of my greatest gifts. They don't understand how much I love them. They are different from each other. Each has enormous talents. They all give great joy to me as I observe how they travel through burdens, through daily tasks.
My sister in law is a mother and a teacher. She has more creativity in her little finger than I will ever have . She thinks deeply and cares deeply about her beliefs. She finds ways to teach her middle schooler's so social thought and history come alive. Ive often wanted to be her student so I could learn and do the assignments. Save me from middle school life though!
And her children. They are adults now, even the youngest. They turned in to people who are interested in life, engaged in other people, want to make the world a better place. None of them are cynical, or jaded, or selfish. Each of them have smiles, and ways of doing things that make me laugh, get excited, follow eagerly for the next installment in their lives.
And my step-daughter. What a pot of unbosomed talent. She is smart, beautiful, caring and hasn't even begun to find the depth of her own talents. I hope big things for her. I hope she sees her own worth reflected in her children's eyes. She fought so hard to bring them up as decent people with a sense of family and responsibility. She brought them up to love one another and care for each other, to give the little guy a break.They will never be alone for life's trials because of how she taught them to care for each other.
And I wish for my husband great peace and restfulness, and many years of uninterrupted Green Bay Packer football games.
And I wish for world peace. And uninterrupted days of creativity for fabric designers . And lots of food for people in Somalia. And I wish for a year long power outage in DC so they would all go home and get new perspectives on life.

2008-10-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

There is so much of interest going on in life. I find it hard to write about any of it as I cant pick one topic. Maybe that's just the thing. Life, despite the economic crisis is incredible.
The sun is just easing its way above the horizon, turning the gray clouds and surrounding mountain ridges a soft yellow,with a dusky deep blue arising and a hint of ballerina skirt pink. The air is cool and crisp. The pumpkins in all their orangeness are waiting to be turned into stunning Halloween spectacles. And the new kitten is really making our older cat mad!
I'm eagerly awaiting conversation over coffee with our friends. My husband declined the chance to "spend a little time talking with your wife". For some reason, he thought his toasty bed was more appealing than a chat. And even the challenge of belt tightening for a few years doesn't scare me. I think of of as a challenge. OK, its like dieting. You cant continue to cheat and loose weight. So we pay off debt, avoid buying any big new stuff for awhile. Get creative with dinner and spend time with family and friends. Make sure our indulgences are paid for and well thought out. And sort out our national priorities. Pay attention to local government policies. Walk the neighborhood and participate in our neighbors lives. Be a community again. Maybe Ill find some unexpected nuggets of gold right in front of me, on this very path...like seeing the sunset, like seeing the smile on a child's face, like examining the stitches on a quilt that was made by an acquaintances long passed away mother and realizing the threads and fabric are still here...life is real..and ongoing...and now.

Family Ties

2008-10-04T07:38:00.000-07:00

In my mothers family, we lost a wonderful member this week. My 61yr old Uncle Ron died of a sudden heart attack last Sunday. His wife and 4 adult children have never been without him. No one ever thought of Uncle Rod without a smile on their face. He chuckled, he laughed, he joked, he was a funny man. He also was a minister for many small churches after he found his religious calling many years ago. He was the greatest of men.
Which brings me to muse about families. We have our difference. Some of them "wide" if you will. Faith, politics, beliefs and ideals separate us if we let them. Modern living is not always conducive to "staying close" to your family. Its so easy to be too busy. And then someday too busy becomes too late. If your family has differences in immediate goals, has busy lives,has miles of distance...try not to let that separate the foundation of your love for them. Make that call, send pictures, stay in touch even if its a bother, push past those incidents of disagreement. Find a way to make contact.
I think about what it would feel like if I really were alone. Who would I miss and why? Quite a scary exercise. But it sharpens your focus. What am I depending on that person for in my life? Why do I need them so much? And what do I need to say to them TODAY?

Women and Aging

2008-08-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

I have women friends who are aging. One person is very concerned with this process. She is not happy with the slight soft sag of her cheeks, the laugh lines that accumulate around eyes and mouth. She fights it. Grumps about aging; diets, exercises. She is unhappy about her age. And yet she is very beautiful.She looks 20 years younger than her passport must state. She has traveled and raised good human beings and had a career. She ages next to a husband who is lively and well and handsome and interested in her. Why this rage at aging? What do these signals mean to her?
Several other women come to mind who are similar in age. No pretense. Yes , wouldnt we all like to keep the tight buttocks of our teen years. But would our faces then reflect all the wonderous things we've seen and done?
One of my favorite 'girls' wears little makeup. Her laugh lines are prominent. Her eyes light up when she talks. Her hips are rounder than when I first met her. She became a Grandma this year. And now there is a slightly softer spot on her thighs to cuddle the bundle of joy who will look so like her someday.
Our DNA mistakes add up. The toll of our lifestyles settles into our lines. Our indulgences do tell. Somehow, I dont mind too much. I dont feel I have to compete with younger, fitter women. I want my face to have wrinkles . I hope I get lots of laugh lines.

Going to the Sea

2008-08-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have a fridge magnet that says "I go to the sea to breathe". We are going to the ocean soon and I always feel excited about that first deep slow breath of salt tinged cool air. And the first peek of slate gray coastline.
The Pacific Ocean is a powerful place....the rugged rocks, twisty coastal roads, the long open beaches ( thanks oregon legislature). Some of my earliest memories are from the beach. My grandparents used to take me to go agate hunting. I remember being so awhirl at finding the perfect pearl like translucent rock. Each pebble was a jewel of course worthy of any national treasury. We would take home these treasures in our sand littered jacket pockets, and put them in Grandpas tumbler. Out would come magnificent shiny stones that sat in the palm of our hands glistening, better than any gold nugget. I still have a small tin of polished stones. And each time I feel the cool smooth touch of these polished agates across my hand, Im instantly back on the beach, my back turned upwind, my jacket hood up, my eyes shining; , calling "Grandpa, look, LOOK!"

What to do with grandmas stuff?

2008-08-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

We collect things throughout our lives that we find meaningful. Most of our junk is just stuff thats fun to have. Then we inherit grandmas stuff. The old blanket that you napped under when you were three. The vase she use to put daffodils in on her kitchen table. A pin she used to always put on her winter coat lapel.

What happens to these items when we to pass, and the original memory passes as well. They are after all just objects, and many times not valuable.

And when you have no children to tell the tales of those lazy naps at grandmas house, it seems a sad passing.
No one will care that the double wedding ring quilt, slightly tattered at the edges, was the race track you won the Indy 500 on - While sleeping soundly of course. And the little glass black vase with poorly painted roses was what Grandpa gave Grandma on their wedding day as a gift. How sad that it will be passed up for a quarter at the Good will. And just looking at the Desert Rose plates brings the smell of Turkey dinner to mind.

They are all just things you know. But maybe those memories are adrift out there and will jog a smile from someone when it bumps into their dreams when they are napping on that quilt they found at an estate sale or the pie will taste extra yummy off the desert plate they found at an antique store.

How to be 50 people

2008-08-15T19:47:00.000-07:00

I hate having to make choices in life. I wish I could be 50 people and be in 50 different places at once. Ok, maybe only 5 people. That seems more reasonable. So of course I would be the dutiful and loving wife and stay in my town taking care of my husband, my garden, enjoying our togetherness and being with our friends...just enjoying. But then Id be a wonderwoman aunt off to help my nephews wife who just had a baby and is need of a few helping hands....but she is across the country. And then Id be with my other neice who is about to have a baby and needs to put her feet up....and then Id be some super hero nurse and help some family who needs some skilled hands.....And then Id be the care free adventuress careening through Italy and France on my motorbike....and then Id be the great authoress writing deep emotional novels beside a roaring Idaho river that stun the reading public....Oh wait. I forgot! Thats six things. And Im not a very good motorcycle rider yet....and I hate grammer. So maybe Ill just go get my husband a bowl of ice cream and he will smile and I'll know , for today, I made the right choice.

Family Reunions

2008-07-28T11:32:00.000-07:00

Im headed off to the great state of Michigan for a family get together on my moms side. I find these things somewhat daunting.There is so much anticipation. Its exciting to get a look at all the folks you are related too, compare freckles and feet and stances. But it's all so harried. Do this, do that, too busy to talk quietly and at length with everyone. Inevitably you miss catching up with Cousin x but get a really good visit in with Aunt o.Funny, there are always some in the family you are really glad to share genes with and then there are some you wonder what bus stop they got on at. I suppose they think that about me too.
Reunions are getting harder with more distance between family. Gas prices and airline fees are costly. Our lives are soooo busy. How important are these gatherings? Young families tend to dismiss these events as another picnic and a hassle. But where else will you here about Cousin Davids Silver Star in WW2, the action that cost his life? Where will you learn that grandma Daisy read novels to her husband, who wasnt able to read. When would you here about the cousin who got run over by a train, or that Great uncle Layton Newel (Dugan) served in France in WW1.When would you hear that our grandparents first met when they were 7 years old? And that drop of Irish is real! The more you learn about the people that came before you, the more you tend to learn about the times they were living in. What was happening...World Wars that decided our political futures....Depressions that guided our economy and business life...medical treatments that were archaic or nonexistent. These gatherings give us perspective and a dose of reality. We live in a fabulous time in an astonishing country and we shouldnt take it for granted. We relate to stories told to us to pass on this history. And we get that at reunions and gatherings. Besides, there is always the fabulous food, and the baseball games where the little kids always get a home run.....

Saturday

2008-07-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

There are so many things happening in our corner of the world. I helped set up an event today in our park. It was sponsored in part by the Friends. Eyes Wide Open. It calls attention to the cost of war. We had to set out the boots of dead Oregon soldiers, shoes representing dead Iraqis and thousands of prayer flags. Each set of boots had a picture ID and name and many had family memorabilia. It was touching the boots that made me cry. Some probably weren't the real thing but many were. And the impact was awful. I know we are fighting in wars around the world. I know in part we are trying to globalize freedom of choice and prevent blatant personal abuse. But the cost of each action is so final and so high. I wish the leaders of our country would have to meet face to face with the families of every single soldier who dies. Maybe then they would give more consideration to the hard choices. Reading history, it is obvious many wars are started and run by those who crave power. And many feel they must respond with war as they have no option that retains their dignity and rights. But must we really? I wish we could begin to evolve past some of this horror.
So all that was topping off a week that started with our beloved 15 year old doggie getting very ill. When we took him to the Vet . He passed out when they were treating him. They thought they had lost him right then. His chest Xray showed some bad things in his right chest. He was supposed to stay at the Vets overnight for antibiotics and observation. But I found out no one was going to be there at night so I brought him home, thinking this was going to be IT. Well, the old guy rallied again and is happily sniffing around. He isnt really well, and likely we are experincing our last times together, but we are glad his brown nose is snuffling us and he is snoring at the foot of the bed for awhile longer.
And for the good news, the weather is warm although we are experincing lots of smoky air. The first rasberries, zuchinni and sungold tomatoes are coming off the vine. We are well if contemplative. And Im losing the battle with weeds! Shucks.

Summer

2008-07-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

I peruse the blogs of my talented nieces and others as they settle into the heart of Summer. I contemplate the contentment we all feel under the gentle breezes, warmed air; walking among berry fields and gardens laden with ripening veggies. Even the dirt smells good! .There's nuthin like a summer day.
At our house, we awaken to a bright yellow room. The sun pours through the dappled yellow fabric of our curtains. Light glows off the butter cream color on our walls. Everyday we wake up happy and smiling because "its sunny"! And then "we're retired"! Even more smiles. The cat jingles his collar bell and the dog snores softly ( or not so softly). I pad to the kitchen to make a dark rich pot of coffee. I look out my kitchen windows at the gold finches pecking at their thistle feeder. I look toward the nearby hills and mountains, at that last glimpse of melting snow on the ridgeline . Capturing that early morning feel and smell of the world as our loved ones stir, the birds tweet, the air is still cool... that would make someone a trillion dollars. You know, one would almost think we're in Heaven already.

Birthdays

2008-07-22T08:54:00.001-07:00

I experienced my 49th birthday. It was memorable in many ways.Firstly, I've never been 49 before. And I've never been in a position to enjoy my birthday for 10 days straight! Thanks to some wonderful friends and relatives this occured. I've never been soundly trounced in croquet on my birthday either- thanks Wanda!! Or laughed so much-thanks Rich and Kelsey. Or been loved so much- thanks Honey! Or hugged so much-thanks Irv and Susan! And had such fabulous renditions of Happy Birthday sung to me- thanks to all who harmonized (you know who you are!)Birthdays are an interesting phenomena. We make such a big deal of this celebration. The gifts, the party and really isnt it just that we want a day to be special, a day when we are the center of attention. The star of the show.Why isnt it that we enjoy every day like our birthdays? It isnt the gifts ( as fun as they are!). I think its that everyone says such nice things to us. We adore that. We should start a new trend. Lets pretend every day is every other persons birthday and hug them and say nice things to them....and then...every day will be a gift . And it will be our birthday every day too!

In the Beginning

2008-07-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

I have officially joined the modern age, the techie world, the universe of global communication! My very own blog. Whoa. Or is it wow?
How free is it to share your private thoughts and ideas or just daily blatherings? And feel like it's anonymous?Will a grammer fanatic decry my humble efforts?Or will my words become dry as dust and eventually blow into obscurity?
Who cares, I say...as long as I like it. I, who has never written to Dear Abby . I, who have always meant to write those pesky politicians or the City Council Codgers but could never quite gather my thoughts together. I can have my say about art,poetry, politics, fabrics, relatives....and stuff!
Maybe, just perhaps I'll write something wonderful tomorrow!