Holy Forcast Frosty!

It looks like we are really going to have winter this year. Our local forcast is for snow, cold, snow, snow and some more cold snow.Brrrr. Just hope our trusty little house keeps working. At work, our Aide's pipes burst...and there is so little hope of a thaw. I cant imagine the diffficulty.
Rod and I once spent a chilly night under the sleeping bags in our old home when the power went out. The cats crawed in. But my nose was cold. What the heck did those pioneers do anyway. The dreariest book I ever read was about a pioneer woman in the Olympic Mtns during winter. All that cold and damp just came out of those pages and was deeeee pressing.
So Ive had these dreams lately. Im writing. You know, the great American Novel thing. But I cant work it through the concept. I have the idea but cant work past the beginning. I fall too deeply asleep! Rats.
Well, hope all your packages and cards are mailed ( mine arent!) but I just cant worry about it this year!

What a layover in writing! Im like many who think we have nothing to say but all day every day my head is crammed with stuff and ideas and random thoughts. So guess what! My fellow one or two folks who pull stuff off the ethereal net...you get the benefit of my "stuff" today.
Christmas is a funny time especially if you're not the church type. I love all the Santa trimmings and the unparralled depth of music especially some of the high ranging triumphant religious works. I love the tree lightings and small town Christmas parades and the expectation lighting up the eyes of kids. I love the pretty wrapping paper and the food. HHmmmm, the food! I hate not being able to find just the right gift and thinking I should put more effort into it. I vaguley dislike wrapping. I can never get the bows just so. I sure do like opening though!
Why is it that I can think of 20 things I wouldnt mind opening on Christmas morning but Im danged if I can come up with even one spectacular item for my husband. He is a computer geek. A techno guy. A lover of all thats microchipped and multifunctional. None of which I understand, or can stand or want to do anything but stand on. What's wrong with on and off or up and down, I say. I digress.
What to get the love of your life who has every gadget already. Who has enough socks, and robes and CDs and tools? Mind you this is a man whose favorite jacket is this accidently shrunken red plaid farmers fake lambs wool piece. He never met a ball cap with a logo on it he didnt like. A fellow with 200 T shirts.Who after wearing slacks and tie in the office for 30 years now refuses to even wear socks. What to do??Even a lump of coal however undeserved aint original.
So Im left present challenged. Defeated by scads of ads with no hope of the coolest deal on earth...just the right gift.I wish there was a real Santa to whom I could appeal!

Enthusiasm

I was thinking of what life should be about. Why we bother. How to get through the days. At first I thought of the word Inspiration. The always thought provoking Faith. But I finally settled on Enthusiasm. The original meaning took me by surprise. Something about inspired by God. There was even an ancient Syrian sect called "Enthusiasts". But what I was after was the root of making things better. We can slog or drag through our days whining along the road. Or we can use enthusiasm.
It started because I read a bulletin from a group of which I am a member. Normally, I delete the National bulletins before ever getting around to reading them like all good group members.But this time I read it. It was inspiring. There are folks out there even from my home state and local groups taking the extra step to participate. And what happens when you participate can generate enthusiasm for mundane meetings and tasks in others.
So, a glow of enthusiasm lit upon me. And I got to thinking how much energy just being enthused can bring.
Yesterday we made a little trip out of town with friends to look at some fancy motorcycles.My hubby hasn't been feeling well with his cold/flu. He has been a bit depressed in general. But by the end of the day with all of us projecting enthusiasm..he liked it!! He said thanks for making him go. And I thought, if we could start our days with projecting a bit of positive enthusiasm for our tasks....we could inspire a few people along the way. Sometimes that ripple might reach someone unexpected. Make a real difference. So different than projecting doom and gloom and negativity. Hmmmm.

Wishing

I decided I would wish today. What do I wish for? I wish I had a personality that would convey calm and peace into the lives of those I know and love. Because I wish that for them. Calm, steadiness, peaceful nights.
I wish I could say to their faces instead of in a blog how much I care about my families. My father is a cynical and cool man. Its all he can do to get a shoulder hug in. But I know he loves me. I try to tell him. He doesn't like presents so its hard to give him anything that makes him smile. So, I call . We have a glass of wine together and I let him tell me his version of the earth and whats going on.
And my nieces, nephews, in laws, step-daughter. I married into this very interesting family and my husband gave me these people to know. Its been one of my greatest gifts. They don't understand how much I love them. They are different from each other. Each has enormous talents. They all give great joy to me as I observe how they travel through burdens, through daily tasks.
My sister in law is a mother and a teacher. She has more creativity in her little finger than I will ever have . She thinks deeply and cares deeply about her beliefs. She finds ways to teach her middle schooler's so social thought and history come alive. Ive often wanted to be her student so I could learn and do the assignments. Save me from middle school life though!
And her children. They are adults now, even the youngest. They turned in to people who are interested in life, engaged in other people, want to make the world a better place. None of them are cynical, or jaded, or selfish. Each of them have smiles, and ways of doing things that make me laugh, get excited, follow eagerly for the next installment in their lives.
And my step-daughter. What a pot of unbosomed talent. She is smart, beautiful, caring and hasn't even begun to find the depth of her own talents. I hope big things for her. I hope she sees her own worth reflected in her children's eyes. She fought so hard to bring them up as decent people with a sense of family and responsibility. She brought them up to love one another and care for each other, to give the little guy a break.They will never be alone for life's trials because of how she taught them to care for each other.
And I wish for my husband great peace and restfulness, and many years of uninterrupted Green Bay Packer football games.
And I wish for world peace. And uninterrupted days of creativity for fabric designers . And lots of food for people in Somalia. And I wish for a year long power outage in DC so they would all go home and get new perspectives on life.

There is so much of interest going on in life. I find it hard to write about any of it as I cant pick one topic. Maybe that's just the thing. Life, despite the economic crisis is incredible.
The sun is just easing its way above the horizon, turning the gray clouds and surrounding mountain ridges a soft yellow,with a dusky deep blue arising and a hint of ballerina skirt pink. The air is cool and crisp. The pumpkins in all their orangeness are waiting to be turned into stunning Halloween spectacles. And the new kitten is really making our older cat mad!
I'm eagerly awaiting conversation over coffee with our friends. My husband declined the chance to "spend a little time talking with your wife". For some reason, he thought his toasty bed was more appealing than a chat. And even the challenge of belt tightening for a few years doesn't scare me. I think of of as a challenge. OK, its like dieting. You cant continue to cheat and loose weight. So we pay off debt, avoid buying any big new stuff for awhile. Get creative with dinner and spend time with family and friends. Make sure our indulgences are paid for and well thought out. And sort out our national priorities. Pay attention to local government policies. Walk the neighborhood and participate in our neighbors lives. Be a community again. Maybe Ill find some unexpected nuggets of gold right in front of me, on this very path...like seeing the sunset, like seeing the smile on a child's face, like examining the stitches on a quilt that was made by an acquaintances long passed away mother and realizing the threads and fabric are still here...life is real..and ongoing...and now.

Family Ties

In my mothers family, we lost a wonderful member this week. My 61yr old Uncle Ron died of a sudden heart attack last Sunday. His wife and 4 adult children have never been without him. No one ever thought of Uncle Rod without a smile on their face. He chuckled, he laughed, he joked, he was a funny man. He also was a minister for many small churches after he found his religious calling many years ago. He was the greatest of men.
Which brings me to muse about families. We have our difference. Some of them "wide" if you will. Faith, politics, beliefs and ideals separate us if we let them. Modern living is not always conducive to "staying close" to your family. Its so easy to be too busy. And then someday too busy becomes too late. If your family has differences in immediate goals, has busy lives,has miles of distance...try not to let that separate the foundation of your love for them. Make that call, send pictures, stay in touch even if its a bother, push past those incidents of disagreement. Find a way to make contact.
I think about what it would feel like if I really were alone. Who would I miss and why? Quite a scary exercise. But it sharpens your focus. What am I depending on that person for in my life? Why do I need them so much? And what do I need to say to them TODAY?

Women and Aging

I have women friends who are aging. One person is very concerned with this process. She is not happy with the slight soft sag of her cheeks, the laugh lines that accumulate around eyes and mouth. She fights it. Grumps about aging; diets, exercises. She is unhappy about her age. And yet she is very beautiful.She looks 20 years younger than her passport must state. She has traveled and raised good human beings and had a career. She ages next to a husband who is lively and well and handsome and interested in her. Why this rage at aging? What do these signals mean to her?
Several other women come to mind who are similar in age. No pretense. Yes , wouldnt we all like to keep the tight buttocks of our teen years. But would our faces then reflect all the wonderous things we've seen and done?
One of my favorite 'girls' wears little makeup. Her laugh lines are prominent. Her eyes light up when she talks. Her hips are rounder than when I first met her. She became a Grandma this year. And now there is a slightly softer spot on her thighs to cuddle the bundle of joy who will look so like her someday.
Our DNA mistakes add up. The toll of our lifestyles settles into our lines. Our indulgences do tell. Somehow, I dont mind too much. I dont feel I have to compete with younger, fitter women. I want my face to have wrinkles . I hope I get lots of laugh lines.

Going to the Sea

I have a fridge magnet that says "I go to the sea to breathe". We are going to the ocean soon and I always feel excited about that first deep slow breath of salt tinged cool air. And the first peek of slate gray coastline.
The Pacific Ocean is a powerful place....the rugged rocks, twisty coastal roads, the long open beaches ( thanks oregon legislature). Some of my earliest memories are from the beach. My grandparents used to take me to go agate hunting. I remember being so awhirl at finding the perfect pearl like translucent rock. Each pebble was a jewel of course worthy of any national treasury. We would take home these treasures in our sand littered jacket pockets, and put them in Grandpas tumbler. Out would come magnificent shiny stones that sat in the palm of our hands glistening, better than any gold nugget. I still have a small tin of polished stones. And each time I feel the cool smooth touch of these polished agates across my hand, Im instantly back on the beach, my back turned upwind, my jacket hood up, my eyes shining; , calling "Grandpa, look, LOOK!"

What to do with grandmas stuff?

We collect things throughout our lives that we find meaningful. Most of our junk is just stuff thats fun to have. Then we inherit grandmas stuff. The old blanket that you napped under when you were three. The vase she use to put daffodils in on her kitchen table. A pin she used to always put on her winter coat lapel.

What happens to these items when we to pass, and the original memory passes as well. They are after all just objects, and many times not valuable.

And when you have no children to tell the tales of those lazy naps at grandmas house, it seems a sad passing.
No one will care that the double wedding ring quilt, slightly tattered at the edges, was the race track you won the Indy 500 on - While sleeping soundly of course. And the little glass black vase with poorly painted roses was what Grandpa gave Grandma on their wedding day as a gift. How sad that it will be passed up for a quarter at the Good will. And just looking at the Desert Rose plates brings the smell of Turkey dinner to mind.

They are all just things you know. But maybe those memories are adrift out there and will jog a smile from someone when it bumps into their dreams when they are napping on that quilt they found at an estate sale or the pie will taste extra yummy off the desert plate they found at an antique store.

How to be 50 people

I hate having to make choices in life. I wish I could be 50 people and be in 50 different places at once. Ok, maybe only 5 people. That seems more reasonable. So of course I would be the dutiful and loving wife and stay in my town taking care of my husband, my garden, enjoying our togetherness and being with our friends...just enjoying. But then Id be a wonderwoman aunt off to help my nephews wife who just had a baby and is need of a few helping hands....but she is across the country. And then Id be with my other neice who is about to have a baby and needs to put her feet up....and then Id be some super hero nurse and help some family who needs some skilled hands.....And then Id be the care free adventuress careening through Italy and France on my motorbike....and then Id be the great authoress writing deep emotional novels beside a roaring Idaho river that stun the reading public....Oh wait. I forgot! Thats six things. And Im not a very good motorcycle rider yet....and I hate grammer. So maybe Ill just go get my husband a bowl of ice cream and he will smile and I'll know , for today, I made the right choice.

Family Reunions

Im headed off to the great state of Michigan for a family get together on my moms side. I find these things somewhat daunting.There is so much anticipation. Its exciting to get a look at all the folks you are related too, compare freckles and feet and stances. But it's all so harried. Do this, do that, too busy to talk quietly and at length with everyone. Inevitably you miss catching up with Cousin x but get a really good visit in with Aunt o.Funny, there are always some in the family you are really glad to share genes with and then there are some you wonder what bus stop they got on at. I suppose they think that about me too.
Reunions are getting harder with more distance between family. Gas prices and airline fees are costly. Our lives are soooo busy. How important are these gatherings? Young families tend to dismiss these events as another picnic and a hassle. But where else will you here about Cousin Davids Silver Star in WW2, the action that cost his life? Where will you learn that grandma Daisy read novels to her husband, who wasnt able to read. When would you here about the cousin who got run over by a train, or that Great uncle Layton Newel (Dugan) served in France in WW1.When would you hear that our grandparents first met when they were 7 years old? And that drop of Irish is real! The more you learn about the people that came before you, the more you tend to learn about the times they were living in. What was happening...World Wars that decided our political futures....Depressions that guided our economy and business life...medical treatments that were archaic or nonexistent. These gatherings give us perspective and a dose of reality. We live in a fabulous time in an astonishing country and we shouldnt take it for granted. We relate to stories told to us to pass on this history. And we get that at reunions and gatherings. Besides, there is always the fabulous food, and the baseball games where the little kids always get a home run.....

Saturday

There are so many things happening in our corner of the world. I helped set up an event today in our park. It was sponsored in part by the Friends. Eyes Wide Open. It calls attention to the cost of war. We had to set out the boots of dead Oregon soldiers, shoes representing dead Iraqis and thousands of prayer flags. Each set of boots had a picture ID and name and many had family memorabilia. It was touching the boots that made me cry. Some probably weren't the real thing but many were. And the impact was awful. I know we are fighting in wars around the world. I know in part we are trying to globalize freedom of choice and prevent blatant personal abuse. But the cost of each action is so final and so high. I wish the leaders of our country would have to meet face to face with the families of every single soldier who dies. Maybe then they would give more consideration to the hard choices. Reading history, it is obvious many wars are started and run by those who crave power. And many feel they must respond with war as they have no option that retains their dignity and rights. But must we really? I wish we could begin to evolve past some of this horror.
So all that was topping off a week that started with our beloved 15 year old doggie getting very ill. When we took him to the Vet . He passed out when they were treating him. They thought they had lost him right then. His chest Xray showed some bad things in his right chest. He was supposed to stay at the Vets overnight for antibiotics and observation. But I found out no one was going to be there at night so I brought him home, thinking this was going to be IT. Well, the old guy rallied again and is happily sniffing around. He isnt really well, and likely we are experincing our last times together, but we are glad his brown nose is snuffling us and he is snoring at the foot of the bed for awhile longer.
And for the good news, the weather is warm although we are experincing lots of smoky air. The first rasberries, zuchinni and sungold tomatoes are coming off the vine. We are well if contemplative. And Im losing the battle with weeds! Shucks.

Summer

I peruse the blogs of my talented nieces and others as they settle into the heart of Summer. I contemplate the contentment we all feel under the gentle breezes, warmed air; walking among berry fields and gardens laden with ripening veggies. Even the dirt smells good! .There's nuthin like a summer day.
At our house, we awaken to a bright yellow room. The sun pours through the dappled yellow fabric of our curtains. Light glows off the butter cream color on our walls. Everyday we wake up happy and smiling because "its sunny"! And then "we're retired"! Even more smiles. The cat jingles his collar bell and the dog snores softly ( or not so softly). I pad to the kitchen to make a dark rich pot of coffee. I look out my kitchen windows at the gold finches pecking at their thistle feeder. I look toward the nearby hills and mountains, at that last glimpse of melting snow on the ridgeline . Capturing that early morning feel and smell of the world as our loved ones stir, the birds tweet, the air is still cool... that would make someone a trillion dollars. You know, one would almost think we're in Heaven already.

Birthdays

I experienced my 49th birthday. It was memorable in many ways.Firstly, I've never been 49 before. And I've never been in a position to enjoy my birthday for 10 days straight! Thanks to some wonderful friends and relatives this occured. I've never been soundly trounced in croquet on my birthday either- thanks Wanda!! Or laughed so much-thanks Rich and Kelsey. Or been loved so much- thanks Honey! Or hugged so much-thanks Irv and Susan! And had such fabulous renditions of Happy Birthday sung to me- thanks to all who harmonized (you know who you are!)Birthdays are an interesting phenomena. We make such a big deal of this celebration. The gifts, the party and really isnt it just that we want a day to be special, a day when we are the center of attention. The star of the show.Why isnt it that we enjoy every day like our birthdays? It isnt the gifts ( as fun as they are!). I think its that everyone says such nice things to us. We adore that. We should start a new trend. Lets pretend every day is every other persons birthday and hug them and say nice things to them....and then...every day will be a gift . And it will be our birthday every day too!

In the Beginning

I have officially joined the modern age, the techie world, the universe of global communication! My very own blog. Whoa. Or is it wow?
How free is it to share your private thoughts and ideas or just daily blatherings? And feel like it's anonymous?Will a grammer fanatic decry my humble efforts?Or will my words become dry as dust and eventually blow into obscurity?
Who cares, I say...as long as I like it. I, who has never written to Dear Abby . I, who have always meant to write those pesky politicians or the City Council Codgers but could never quite gather my thoughts together. I can have my say about art,poetry, politics, fabrics, relatives....and stuff!
Maybe, just perhaps I'll write something wonderful tomorrow!